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š„ FIRST BITE
The appetizer before we dive in
Welcome to The Deeter Digest. This week, Cizzle Brands dropped $83 million to control their own destiny, Kodiakās co-founder is back with protein pretzels, and someone finally made mouthwash sexy enough for seed funding.
Plus: Vacationās shopping itself around, Barebells goes all-in on RTD, and L Catterton keeps building brands nobody asked for. Letās feast.
š THE MAIN COURSE
This weekās biggest CPG moves
Cizzleās $83M Manufacturing Play
Cizzle Brands (parent of CWENCH Hydration and Spoken Nutrition) acquired Flow Waterās manufacturing business for $83 million. The facility will contribute $21.5 million revenue in H2 fiscal ā26.
This is vertical integration done right. Instead of begging co-packers for line time, Cizzle now controls production, pricing, and timeline. The procurement savings alone probably justify half the purchase price. When your biggest constraint is manufacturing capacity, sometimes you just buy the factory. Watch for more brands following this playbook in 2026.
Kodiak Alumni Launch Kindling
Cameron Smith (Kodiak co-founder) and Brandon Porras (former VP Marketing) launched Kindling protein pretzels, hitting Target shelves today. With 8-9g protein per serving and 100% whole wheat, theyāre betting America wants healthier bar snacks.
This is the Kodiak mafia in action. Smith knows how to build to $500 million. Porras knows how to market it. Target giving them national launch day one shows the power of track record. When successful founders start second acts, buyers listen. Prediction: General Mills acquires within 3 years.
Vacationās $80M Moment
The sunscreen brand that made SPF cool hired Raymond James to explore a minority stake sale. Founded in 2021, sales doubling to $80 million this year. Theyāve successfully expanded beyond suncare into āadjacent categories.ā
Four years to $80 million and shopping for partners? Thatās either incredible velocity or unsustainable marketing spend. The āviral suncareā description tells you everything ā when your growth depends on TikTokās algorithm, you need deeper pockets or an exit. Smart to sell high while the brand heat lasts.
š° THE FUNDING FRENZY
Big checks being written
Swishables Swishes Seed Round
The portable mouthwash brand raised nearly 7-figures from Jason Cohen, Nik Sharma, Ben Soffer, Claudia Oshry, and Aurum Partners (49ers family office). Founded by ex-PATH Water executives Gulshan Kumar and Harry Meng.
Portable mouthwash securing influencer money is peak 2025. But the founder pedigree (PATH Water) and investor mix (operators + influencers + sports money) suggests real traction. When oral care gets venture funding, weāve officially optimized everything. Next up: VC-backed dental floss.
šŖ DISTRIBUTION & PRODUCT NEWS
Everyoneās launching everything
Barebells Goes Beverage
After launching protein soda in October, Barebells dropped another RTD line: 24g protein, 2g sugar, three flavors. Available at Walmart, their website, and TikTok Shop.
Barebells smells opportunity. Protein water, protein soda, protein shakes ā if you can drink it, theyāll add 20g protein. The TikTok Shop inclusion shows they understand modern distribution. When Swedish protein bars become American beverage brands, category lines mean nothing.
L Cattertonās Latest: Amulet
Squared Circles (L Cattertonās incubator) will launch Amulet in 2026 ā āclinically-backed female performance supplements designed to support all phases of oneās cycle.ā Theyāve previously launched Algae Cooking Club, Magic Molecule, and Freaks of Nature.
L Catterton building brands from scratch instead of buying them. Amulet enters the crowded womenās hormone space where everyone claims āclinical backingā but few deliver. With Perelel, Ceremonia, and others struggling, timing seems questionable. But L Cattertonās distribution power could overcome mediocre positioning.
š„ THE HOT TAKE
My unfiltered opinion on this weekās madness
Cizzle buying manufacturing for $83 million while Vacation seeks minority investment at $80 million valuation tells you everything about CPGās current state. One company invests in boring infrastructure. The other built a DTC darling. Guess which one survives the next decade?
The Kodiak alumni launching at Target proves track record trumps innovation. Protein pretzels arenāt revolutionary. But when youāve built a $500 million brand, retailers bet on execution over ideas.
Swishables raising from the Oshry sisters and 49ers money for portable mouthwash shows weāve reached peak optimization. Whatās next? VC-backed toothpicks? Andreessen Horowitz investing in premium napkins?
But hereās the thing: boring businesses buying factories win. Sexy brands needing capital lose. Cizzle will be printing money from that facility while Vacationās influencers move on to the next trending SPF.
Build infrastructure, not Instagram followers. The end.
šŗ COMING TUESDAY
Unpackaged Goods Episode 13
Breaking down why brands are buying factories, whether protein pretzels can replicate Kodiakās success, and why everyoneās suddenly interested in womenās hormones.
š„« ONE MORE THING...
Before you close this tab
2025ās final week perfectly captures CPGās split personality. Real businesses buying real assets (Cizzle). Founders leveraging past success (Kindling). Buzzy brands seeking exits before the music stops (Vacation). And VCs funding problems nobody has (portable mouthwash).
As you plan 2026, ask yourself: Am I building Cizzle or Vacation? The answer determines everything.
Until next Sunday (and Happy New Year), Jonathan Deeter Your CPG-Obsessed Friend
P.S.
Issue #10 drops January 5th with our 2026 predictions issue. Submit your predictions by replying to this email. The best ones get featured (with credit).
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