Issue #18 | March 3, 2026
🥄 FIRST BITE
The appetizer before we dive in
Welcome back to The Deeter Digest. This week, Celsius proved the Alani Nu acquisition was the best deal in energy drink history, Kim Kardashian officially joined an energy drink brand as co-founder, and Archer Meat Snacks secured a $100M credit line from JPMorgan as they approach half a billion in sales.
Meanwhile, Topo Chico disappeared from shelves due to production issues, two completely different companies named Lasso launched products in the same week, and e.l.f. Beauty released a dill pickle lip balm because apparently nothing is off limits anymore.
The message is clear: the brands winning right now aren’t chasing trends — they’re executing. When meat snack companies get nine-figure credit facilities and energy drink platforms hit $2.5B in revenue through strategic M&A, the playbook writes itself. Let’s dig in.
🍊 THE MAIN COURSE
This week’s biggest CPG moves
Celsius’ $2.5B Validation
Celsius dropped full-year results and the numbers are absurd. Revenue jumped 86% to over $2.5 billion. The $1.8B Alani Nu acquisition from early 2025 generated $1 billion in revenue across Q2-Q4 alone. Rockstar, which Celsius recently scooped from PepsiCo, added another $55.6M. Celsius’s core brand still grew 7.5% to $1.4B on its own.
This isn’t just growth — it’s a masterclass in platform building through strategic M&A. Celsius now commands roughly 20% dollar share of the U.S. energy drink category. They didn’t just buy Alani — they bought an entire demographic. The playbook is clear: acquire cultural brands with authentic consumer connection, plug them into your distribution infrastructure, and let them cook.
The Alani deal paying for itself in under a year through revenue alone signals something bigger. Monster and Red Bull built their empires through organic growth and distribution muscle. Celsius is proving there’s a faster path: acquire brands that already own their audiences and supercharge them through operational scale. This isn’t a challenger brand anymore. This is a platform.
Kim Kardashian Joins UPDATE’s 4,000-Door Walmart Push
Paraxanthine-powered energy drink UPDATE just unveiled a new look, a reformulated product, and its newest co-founder: Kim Kardashian. The brand is gearing up for one of Walmart’s largest beverage rollouts to date, with 4,000+ doors carrying UPDATE starting this month.
Everyone wants to clown celebrity CPG deals, but this one deserves a closer look. Paraxanthine is caffeine’s cleaner cousin — it delivers energy without the jitters and crash. If it goes mainstream the way creatine did a few years ago, UPDATE is positioned to ride that wave with the biggest celebrity endorser on the planet and Walmart’s distribution machine behind it.
The real test comes after the novelty fades. Kardashian drives initial trial, but repeat purchase depends entirely on whether paraxanthine delivers a noticeably better experience than caffeine. If it does, UPDATE has first-mover advantage in a potentially massive functional ingredient shift. If it doesn’t, this becomes another celebrity CPG footnote.
Archer’s $100M JPMorgan Credit Line
Archer Meat Snacks locked in a $100M line of credit from JPMorgan Chase. The credit facility will fuel capacity investment as the company approaches $500M in sales this year. Half a billion dollars. In meat snacks.
When JPMorgan hands you nine figures, the spreadsheet speaks for itself. Archer isn’t raising equity rounds or chasing venture capital hype — they’re bankrolling real infrastructure through traditional debt because the business generates real cash flow. In a market full of brands burning through investor money on awareness campaigns, Archer is printing money and reinvesting it.
This is what scaling looks like when the product actually sells. No flashy funding announcements, no celebrity co-founders, no brand refreshes. Just meat snacks moving off shelves at a pace that makes JPMorgan comfortable writing a $100M check.
Topo Chico Goes Dark
Coca-Cola confirmed that Topo Chico will be temporarily unavailable in the United States due to production problems at its water source in Monterrey. Upgrades are being installed, but for now — empty shelves.
Nothing creates demand like scarcity, but this is a dangerous game for Coca-Cola. When your premium sparkling water brand goes dark, every competitor gets a free trial period with your most loyal customers. Spindrift, San Pellegrino, and Waterloo are all sitting there waiting. Sparkling water drinkers are creatures of habit — until the shelf is empty. Then they’re up for grabs.
The production vulnerability also highlights why single-source water brands carry inherent supply chain risk. Topo Chico’s authenticity is tied to its Monterrey spring, but that same authenticity creates a single point of failure that manufactured competitors don’t face.
💰 THE FUNDING FRENZY
Big checks being written
Cutting Horse’s $75M Debut Fund
Cutting Horse, the growth equity firm co-founded by Michael Wystrach and Chris Protasewich, closed its inaugural fund with $75M in capital commitments. Wystrach previously founded Freshly, which Nestlé acquired for $1.5B in 2020. Protasewich was a Principal at Highland Capital Partners. Current investments include Promix, SuperTeeth, Feel Goods, BetterWild, Cassi, Ghia, and several others.
When a founder who built and sold a $1.5B meal delivery company tells you he’s deploying capital into emerging CPG brands, you pay attention. The portfolio reads like someone who understands unit economics, not just vibes. Wystrach lived the journey from zero to exit at massive scale — that operator’s lens on evaluating early-stage brands creates a fundamentally different investment approach than traditional fund managers bring.
Second Sight Ventures’ $75M Cultural Edge Fund
Second Sight Ventures secured $75M for its inaugural fund. Founded by Patrick Finnegan, Chris Hollod, and Jackson Eisenpresser, Second Sight invests in brands and technology companies with a cultural edge. Prior investments include Poppi, Lemme, Orion, Loyalist, and Willie’s Remedy.
When a debut fund raises $75M with a portfolio that includes Poppi — one of the most successful consumer brand stories in recent memory — it validates that cultural relevance is a legitimate investment thesis, not just a buzzword. The ability to identify brands that transcend product categories and become lifestyle signifiers is increasingly what separates venture returns from venture losses.
Great Circle Ventures’ $20M Early-Stage Fund
Great Circle Ventures is raising a $20M fund to continue backing early-stage consumer brands. Their prior investments include Alec’s Ice Cream, Algae Cooking Club, Ayoh, Habiza, Mosh, and many others.
Smaller, focused funds like Great Circle often provide more meaningful support to early-stage brands than larger funds writing smaller checks. When fund managers stay concentrated in the $20M range, they’re forced to be highly selective and deeply involved — exactly what pre-Series A consumer brands need.
OoMee’s $5M Seaweed Bet
Seaweed-powered beverage brand OoMee secured $5M in funding from parent company Aqua Theon. The company created an uncarbonated, vegan beverage line that supports digestion and helps curb cravings. OoMee currently retails at Raley’s, Sprouts, and a handful of regional chains.
The ocean is the next frontier of functional ingredients — if consumers can get past the “seaweed water” pitch. Marine-based nutrition has serious scientific backing, but consumer adoption requires overcoming the gap between what’s healthy and what sounds appealing on a shelf. OoMee’s positioning around digestion and cravings smartly avoids leading with the seaweed angle.
Maazah’s $2M Seed Round
Minnesota-based Maazah raised $2M in seed financing from several in-state family offices. Founded by sisters Yasmeen and Sheilla Sajady, the brand retails at Whole Foods, Sprouts, and recently launched in multiple Costco regions.
The dips and sauces category is on fire right now, and Maazah is riding the wave with authentic positioning and globally-inspired flavors. When brands land Costco regions before raising significant capital, it validates product-market fit through the toughest buyer in retail.
🆕 PRODUCT LAUNCHES & INNOVATION
This week’s innovation circus
Esspo’s Espresso Soda Debut
Esspo, an espresso soda brand co-founded by Philippe von Borries, Katharine Leitch, and Justin Stefano, officially launched with three flavors. Each can delivers 120mg of caffeine and 240mg of L-Theanine. The beverage took two years to develop and was designed to “sip like soda and hit like a cold brew.”
Before launching Esspo, von Borries and Stefano co-founded Refinery29 and sold it to Vice Media for $400M in 2019. Media moguls turning beverage founders isn’t new, but the Refinery29 team brings legitimate brand-building expertise and audience development skills that most CPG founders lack. Backed by Sugar Capital and several angel investors.
TRUFF’s Retail-Ready Packaging Refresh
TRUFF unveiled a more retail-friendly packaging refresh. The hot sauce company retained its iconic bottle and cap while making labels more digestible for retail consumers with flavor cues and a helpful spice scale. TRUFF also announced expansion into aiolis and dipping sauces.
When brands that built cult followings through DTC and food service invest in retail-optimized packaging, they’re acknowledging that shelf presence requires different visual communication than Instagram. Smart evolution rather than revolution — the brand equity stays intact while the conversion path gets clearer.
Lasso x2: Two Companies, One Name, Peak 2026
LASSO is bringing protein gelatin cups to market — functional Jell-O with 10g of grass-fed protein and 5g of prebiotic fiber. The perfect lunchbox play for kids and adults.
Meanwhile, a completely different company also called Lasso — co-founded by former Oatly exec Mike Messersmith — launched two consumer brands: CronchClub (protein baked crisps) and Froobies (fruit snacks with 4g protein and 5g fiber per pouch).
Two companies with the same name launching functional snacks in the same week. We’ve officially run out of names. Functional snacking for kids continues to be a gold rush, and the naming overlap won’t matter if either company cracks the code on making healthy kids’ snacks that actually taste good enough for repeat purchase.
Smash Kitchen’s Category Expansion
Celebrity-led condiments brand Smash Kitchen expanded into salty snacks with kettle chips at 4,000 Walmart doors. Four flavors available now, with organic tortilla chips and popcorn planned next.
Condiment-to-snack category expansion is a proven path when the brand has existing retail relationships and shelf velocity. Smash Kitchen leveraging 4,000 Walmart doors for a snack launch rather than starting from scratch in a new retailer shows smart distribution strategy.
More Launches Worth Watching
Bish Bar dropped a protein bar designed specifically for hormonal and menstrual health — 12g protein, 8g fiber, 23 vitamins and minerals across three flavors. The women’s wellness niche gets more specific, and that’s a good thing.
Rally launched an electrolyte-infused pickle shot for cramps and hydration. Retro branding that actually looks premium — the pickle juice trend officially has legs.
Oakridge Dairy’s Moozy is bringing canned A2 milk to Expo West next week. The branding is excellent for dairy, which is saying something because most dairy brands look like they were designed in 1997.
Pricklee unveiled a brand refresh, ditching the southwestern aesthetic for something bolder and more modern. Big improvement that should move the needle at retail.
RAW Nutrition launched its protein bar line with four flavors: Salted Caramel Pretzel, Peanut Butter Fudge, Dark Chocolate Cookie Butter, and Double Fudge Brownie.
Caliwater teamed up with Demi Lovato for a Blood Orange flavor and unveiled an updated logo alongside it.
Firehook x Ithaca Hummus dropped a limited-edition French Onion cracker. Firehook has been on a collab tear with Graza, Fly By Jing, and TRUFF — smart strategy for reaching younger consumers through co-branding.
Momentous expanded into fiber with Fiber+, delivering 6g per serving from rice bran, potato starch, and Psyllium husk.
Hempz revealed a drastic brand refresh, ditching cannabis-centric branding for a brighter, more elevated look with fragrance cues.
e.l.f. Beauty released a dill pickle-flavored melting lip balm. Limited edition, $9, online only. The internet has won.
📊 THE DATA DIGEST
Numbers that matter
Mid-Day Squares’ PB&J Domination
According to co-founder Jake Karls, the No Bread PB&J from Mid-Day Squares has become their top-selling SKU across the entire portfolio. The product only launched at Target in early January.
When your newest product outsells everything else within weeks, you’ve identified a consumer nerve that existing products weren’t hitting. The No Bread PB&J taps into nostalgia plus functional nutrition — a combination that clearly resonates at scale. This is what product-market fit looks like in real time.
Mooski’s Natural Channel Breakout
Mooski is reportedly the fastest-growing refrigerated bar brand in the natural channel. Their largest retail partner is currently Fresh Thyme Market, but Mooski is set to debut at a major mass retailer later this year.
Natural channel velocity leading to mass retail expansion is the textbook growth path for better-for-you brands. When you’re the fastest-growing in natural, mass buyers come to you.
Still Austin Crosses 100K Cases
Austin-based whiskey producer Still Austin surpassed 100,000 cases in 2025 with depletions jumping 45% year-over-year. The company also secured $20M in working capital from FERO to expand production and ageing capacity.
Real growth backed by real infrastructure investment. Craft spirits brands that hit 100K cases with 45% growth rates attract the kind of institutional capital that fuels the next phase of scaling.
A2 Milk’s $2B Trajectory
The A2 Milk Company delivered 18% sales growth to over $993M in the first half and expects to hit its $2B annual sales target this year. The broader A2 milk category is projected to grow 8% annually.
A2 is no longer niche — it’s becoming the standard. When a dairy company approaches $2B in annual revenue on the strength of a single protein differentiation, it validates that consumers will pay premium prices for products backed by digestive health claims.
🏪 DISTRIBUTION DOMINATION
Everyone’s everywhere
Target’s Massive Week
Cadence rolled into 359 stores. Just Ingredients launched 15 SKUs. Be LOVE hit 1,700+ doors. LEVL added 350 doors. Target continues to be the promised land for emerging brands, rewarding velocity with rapid expansion across the store footprint.
Sprouts Stays Busy
BARIS launched nationwide at Sprouts Farmers Market. Lil Bucks is now available in all locations. Smearcase landed on shelves. Sprouts’ willingness to take early bets on emerging brands continues making it the incubator retailer of choice.
Kroger and Club Store Expansion
Belly hit 200+ Kroger doors across select banners. GoodPop is launching at Kroger soon. Go Raw launched at Sam’s Club. Bahamii debuted at 25 Costco doors in SoCal. Singing Pastures landed at Costco.
Regional and International Wins
Three Wishes at Meijer. Mark’s Snacks on Good Eggs. Zelli Pasta at Central Market. Day Out Snacks at Dierberg Markets. And notably — Poppi officially launched in the UK. 🇬🇧
👋 PEOPLE MOVES
Happy Dad named former BeatBox exec Erick Holloway as Chief Sales Officer. Holloway helped scale BeatBox into a nationwide powerhouse before Anheuser-Busch acquired it for $490M in December. When you need someone who knows how to go from scrappy to scale, you hire the person who just did it.
Charlotte Tilbury CEO Demetra Pinsent is officially exiting the business after 14 years. She joined from McKinsey and helped build it into a powerhouse before Puig acquired a majority stake for £1.3B in 2020.
Colby Covington joined Real American Beer as an investor and long-term brand partner. Hulk Hogan co-founded the brand roughly a year before he passed. Former AB InBev Global VP Terri Francis leads the company.
COSRX released new 5 PDRN Hydrogel Eye Patches, available exclusively on TikTok Shop until March 31st. Korean skincare continues owning the TikTok-first distribution strategy.
DIBS Beauty is launching Cool Blush Cheek Stain — four shades, exclusive at Ulta Beauty and DTC.
Flaus now has clinical data backing its electric flosser — 7x more plaque removal compared to traditional string floss.
Matiere Premiere opened its first UK flagship in Covent Garden. Kering took a minority stake in 2024.
🔥 THE HOT TAKE
My unfiltered opinion on this week’s madness
This week’s biggest story isn’t a single deal or product launch — it’s the widening gap between companies that execute and companies that market.
Celsius generated $2.5 billion in revenue by acquiring brands with real cultural relevance and plugging them into distribution infrastructure. Archer is approaching $500M in meat snack sales with zero celebrity co-founders and zero viral moments — just product moving off shelves fast enough for JPMorgan to write a $100M check. Mid-Day Squares launched a single SKU at Target in January and it’s already outselling their entire portfolio.
Meanwhile, the funding frenzy continues. Cutting Horse raised $75M. Second Sight raised $75M. Great Circle is raising $20M. The capital is flowing because exits are happening and the math is working again. But here’s the pattern I keep seeing: the brands attracting the smartest money are the ones solving real consumer problems, not the ones with the best pitch decks.
BrewDog’s co-founder trying to buy back his own company for £10M is the cautionary tale on the other side. When founders have to rescue their own creations from distress, it’s a reminder that hype and growth without operational discipline leads to the same place every time.
The Contour Ridge partnership with Just Date is the kind of deal that doesn’t make headlines but matters enormously. Date-based sweeteners represent a legitimate better-for-you alternative that consumers actually enjoy using. When strategic investors partner with brands solving real formulation challenges, it creates more sustainable value than another celebrity beverage launch.
And the espresso soda category just got interesting. Esspo’s founders sold Refinery29 for $400M — they understand audience building, brand storytelling, and cultural positioning in ways that most beverage founders simply don’t. Whether espresso soda becomes a real category or stays niche depends on whether the product delivers a meaningfully different experience than cold brew or traditional soda. The L-Theanine inclusion suggests they’re targeting the “energy without anxiety” positioning that’s resonating across functional beverages.
The pattern is clear: execution beats marketing. Infrastructure beats hype. Solving real problems beats creating artificial differentiation. The brands that will be worth billions in five years are the ones quietly building operational moats right now while everyone else chases the next trending ingredient.
🎙️ COMING TUESDAY
Unpackaged Goods Episode
Breaking down Celsius’ $2.5B platform strategy and what it means for energy drink competition, why Archer’s $100M JPMorgan credit line signals a new era for bootstrapped CPG scaling, and the espresso soda category’s potential. Plus: The massive implications of Topo Chico going dark and which competitors stand to benefit most.
🥫 ONE MORE THING...
Before you close this tab
Two companies named Lasso launched products in the same week. A pickle shot brand and a food tech company led by a former Oatly exec. We’ve officially run out of names in CPG. And maybe ideas. But definitely names.
The boring business revolution we’ve been tracking continues to accelerate. Archer doesn’t need celebrities. Cutting Horse doesn’t need hype. Mid-Day Squares doesn’t need a massive product line. The winners are getting more focused, more operationally excellent, and more cash-flow positive while the noise around them gets louder.
Build accordingly.
Until next Sunday, Jonathan Deeter Your CPG-Obsessed Friend
P.S. — e.l.f. made a dill pickle lip balm. DILL. PICKLE. LIP BALM. We’re either in a simulation or the product development meetings have gone completely off the rails. Either way, I respect the audacity.
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